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During the afternoon, traffic cops patrol outside girls’ schools as classes end, in part to keep boys away.But they exert little control over what goes on inside.Like many gay and lesbian teenagers everywhere, he felt isolated.“I used to have the feeling that I was the queerest in the country,” he recalled.“You can be cruised anywhere in Saudi Arabia, any time of the day,” said Radwan, a 42-year-old gay Saudi American who grew up in various Western cities and now lives in Jeddah.

For many Saudis, the fact that a man has sex with another man has little to do with “gayness.” The act may fulfill a desire or a need, but it doesn’t constitute an identity.But as a more Westernized notion of gayness—a notion that stresses orientation over acts—takes hold in the country, will this delicate balance survive?When Yasser hit puberty, he grew attracted to his male cousins.(For this reason, the names of most people in this story have been changed.) Ask many Saudis about homosexuality, and they’ll wince with repugnance.“I disapprove,” Rania, a 32-year-old human-resources manager, told me firmly.