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09 Feb

We’re all familiar with the mythical unicorn—a horse with an insanely phallic symbol protruding from its forehead.Or the Silicon Valley unicorn—a startup valued at over a billion dollars.What initially attracted me to Feeld is what ultimately made it, in my experience, a place for creeps: by touting privacy and “incognito browsing” (in other words, you’ll never see or be seen by any Facebook friends) above all else in the sign-up flow, the app surrounded the service in secrecy and maybe even a little shame, marking itself as slightly taboo, wrapping itself in the black plastic bag others might use to carry a newly purchased dildo out of a sex shop.To be fair, I understand why some discretion can be necessary; sex positivity isn’t the law of the land, and there can certainly be repercussions for someone outed as kinky or non-monogamous. I wouldn’t necessarily want my boss or cousins to know what I like to do behind closed doors.We all hook up together just about every time we hang out, but started also going out one-on-one for dinner or concerts.They’re the perfect relationship for me now—we have consistent enough sex that’s hot and loving at the same time, and this setup doesn’t require a whole lot of my time.I have a somewhat demanding job, a full social life, and an insatiable love of flirting with people, and a committed relationship just doesn’t fit into my schedule right now. The future’s a long way off, and I’m not sweating the trajectory of this relationship. Will I meet a man or woman who sweeps me off my feet, whom I could see a “future” with?Will I stay technically single forever, turning into a crazy old woman who hits on pool boys till the end of my days?

There are also, of course, male unicorns or gender-nonconforming unicorns, as well as gay or poly couples who seek out a unicorn arrangement. I myself am a unicorn and have been having the most fun and hot threesome sex of my life since proudly wearing my 🦄 on my sleeve (a.k.a. Like many of my friends, I spent a good chunk of my twenties in heterosexual monogamous relationships that were mostly satisfying and perfect for where I was in my life at the time.

I wanted to enter my thirties with more self-awareness, more sexual agency, and a few new stories to tell my coupled friends at the bar.

My first foray into being a unicorn was at a sex party at Hacienda Villa, where I fucked perhaps the hottest poly couple in the room in front of a dozen or so other revelers. Connecting with one person in the sack is gold; connecting with two others simultaneously? I made it my mission to do it again and again and left the party craving that threesome high.

To some idiot I met at a party a few weeks back, a unicorn is a "not insanely expensive" apartment in Brooklyn.

But in this month when sex and love are on the brain (and the calendar), let us focus on the sexually positive, socially progressive, and wildly fun other type of unicorn: the person who sleeps with couples.